


Profit and Loss

by hotchoco195



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Bad Girls - Freeform, F/F, First Time, Las Vegas, Self-Discovery, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-09
Updated: 2013-10-09
Packaged: 2017-12-28 22:23:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/997617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hotchoco195/pseuds/hotchoco195
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jane and her fiancé are supposed to be eloping. It's supposed to be romantic. But when everything turns into a nightmare, the redhead at the bar has all the right words.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Profit and Loss

Jane looked up in wonder at the glistening walls of the lobby, the bright lights reflecting off the pale floor in a dazzling, unpleasant way. She could see herself in the mirrored ceiling, a short brunette in a flannel shirt and jeans staring back wide-eyed.

“Let’s go.” Donald nudged her arm with his elbow, his hands busy with their luggage and the room key card.

“Sure, sorry. Let me help with those.” She took the hotel packet from him, shouldering her satchel.

They stepped into the boxy lift that made her feel like Charlie in the _Glass Elevator_. Jane watched the gaming floor disappear below them, unable to hold back a smile.

“Are you excited Janey?” Donald grinned, “Vegas!”

“It feels so surreal. We’re getting married today.” She said, her voice sounding hollow to herself.

“It’s gonna be great, I promise you.”

“I sort of wish my mum could be here.”

“We’re eloping, babe. No friends or family is kinda the point.”

Jane forced a smile. “I know. It’s very romantic.”

They got out at their floor and walked down the hall to the suite, Jane hurrying to open the door as Donald balanced the bags. She gasped.

“Oh my god! It’s beautiful.”

“Not bad.” He nodded, looking over the big white bed and the view of the strip below as he set down their things.

She took a moment to enjoy it before turning around. “Alright, what do we need to do first?”

Donald laughed. “Whoa, whoa, relax Janey! I’ve got my suit, we’re booked into the chapel. I’ll go get a licence while you change – I know you’ll want some time to pretty yourself up.”

“Not that much!” she protested.

“I’ll give you some space anyway, maybe hit the tables for half an hour if I’ve got time to kill.”

“The next time I see you we’ll be on our way to the church.” She smiled, kissing him quickly.

“Can’t wait.”

 

Jane didn’t have much in the way of fancy dresses but she had an old white sun dress and they’d bought some fake flowers to put in her hair. She laid it out on the bed but she couldn’t put it on yet. She felt too nervous, or like she had too much energy. The idea of the dress was freaking her out a little. She decided she should shower first, the water washing away some of her anxiety. Under the warm stream things seemed simpler. She loved Donald and he loved her and they were getting married. It was the easiest thing in the world.

She dried her hair and did a little make-up, accidentally stabbing herself with the eyeliner more than once. Again she wished her mother was there to help, but Don had wanted spontaneous and hassle-free so here they were. Jane looked at the dress again and had a momentary pang of unease before telling herself she was being ridiculous and putting it on.

She spent an hour battling with her hair trying to make it sit the way she wanted. The flowers looked good, and she had a small silver locket Don had given her on their first Valentine’s that matched the silver and diamond engagement band. She took another glance at herself in the mirror and sighed. It wasn’t much but it was nice and Jane had always been a big fan of substance over style. With nothing much else to do but wait for Donald she sat down with a new journal and started to read, losing herself in a world of nebulas and Big Bang theories.

 

She’d been expecting Don back around 2, maybe 3. When it got to 3:30 and he still wasn’t back she started to worry. The ceremony was booked for 4:30 and they still had to get to the chapel. She thought maybe he was giving her time to finish getting ready and grabbed her phone, but his went straight to voicemail.

“Typical,” she muttered, “Of all the days.”

Jane sat on the edge of the bed and bit her lip. Should she wait in case he came in or go down to look for him? They might miss each other if she didn’t stay put but if she went downstairs they could leave straight away and save some time. Jane tapped her hands against her lap for a moment and picked up the hotel phone.

“Hi, this is Jane Foster from room 1205. I was wondering if you’d seen the man I checked in with downstairs recently?”

“Dr Blake?” the concierge asked.

“Yes.”

There was some muttered whispering as the man checked with the others at the desk.

“He came in about two hours ago I believe. Would you like me to have someone take him a message?”

“No, it’s alright. Thank you.”

She got up and grabbed her purse, figuring she’d find him and head straight out. Jane made her way downstairs, blushing under the smiling looks of some of the other guests when they saw her. She made her way to the casino floor and started looking around. Donald’s usual game was blackjack and as she headed for the tables she thought she saw a dark head that looked familiar.

Jane pushed through the crowd slowly, apologising every few steps. The floor was so loud she felt like she could barely make sense of anything, her movements even clumsier than usual. She headed up the short flight of steps to the blackjack area and smiled as she recognised Donald. He had a large pile of chips in front of him and a devilish smile as he laughed at something another man at the table said. He’d changed into his rented tux, the bowtie hanging loose. In fact his whole outfit was a bit dishevelled and he was laughing louder than normal. Had he been drinking? Jane frowned, coming closer, and then stopped suddenly as a blonde in a very short dress leaned over and kissed Don.

Her fiancé made no attempt to push the woman away, instead grabbing a handful of her hair and kissing back. The men at the table whistled and snickered, and they broke apart smiling mischievously. Donald was still grinning when he looked up and noticed Jane staring down at him, pale with shock.

His face fell. “Janey-”

“This is your idea of our wedding day?” she managed to get out.

Donald’s expression hardened. “Well I gotta have a bachelor party, don’t I?”

Jane gasped in outrage. “I guess I’ve made a mistake then. Thank you for stopping me making a worse one.”

“Janey!” he started, but she was already running away.

She wasn’t sure how long she ran. Jane couldn’t go back to the room so she headed for the street and just walked until the tears made it too hard to see. She ducked into a niche between two stores and sunk down, hugging her knees as she sobbed.

*****

Much later, when she’d cried out almost every drop of water in her body and it was getting dark, Jane picked herself up. Her body ached from sitting in one place so long and half the flowers had fallen out of her hair. She knew she must look like shit but she wasn’t sure what to do. She had her wallet and phone; she could go to the airport and change the flight back, head home, hug her mother. But that involved talking to people and explaining things and Jane just wasn’t ready. She decided she’d stay the night and get very drunk. She could leave in the morning when she felt a bit better.

She walked for another few minutes until she was past the bright lights of the fancy buildings and into the duller part of town. A neon sign across the street proclaimed ‘ _Jackson’s Keno & Shots’_ and for once she headed in without a single qualm. She could tell immediately this place wasn’t aimed at the tourist trade. It was just a normal, slightly scummy bar, with quiet country/rock and people talking too loud. She went straight to the bar and sat down, picking the rest of the flowers out of her hair as the bartender walked over.

“What can I get ya?”

“Rum and coke thanks.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.”

He began to pour and she rested her elbows on the sticky bar, sighing as he handed her the glass.

“Thanks.”

She paid and downed a huge gulp, spluttering as it burned.

“You should be careful with that. Jack mixes strong.”

The voice was low enough to be sultry, a word Jane always hated. She looked over, still coughing slightly. A woman leaned on the bar beside her, her dark eyes watching closely. Her hair was a bright, bright red, cut short and fairly curly. She wore a steely grey leather jacket over a black singlet and black jeans so tight Jane’s imagination had its own little parade for a second before she forced herself to focus.

“Good.” She answered.

“Good?” the redhead raised a brow.

“I need it tonight.”

She looked Jane over, taking in the white dress and the abandoned flowers, eyes flicking to her left hand.

“Let me guess – jilted at the altar?”

“Worse. Caught him cheating an hour before the wedding.”

“Wow,” she whistled, “That’s fucking lousy.”

“Tell me about it.” Jane took another sip, hissing under her breath.

“So you’re drowning your sorrows?”

“Isn’t that what people do in situations like this?”

“I dunno. I’ve never really felt like you can judge someone else’s situation.”

“Well trust me when I say the drinking is an empty promise. It makes you feel like you’ll forget, like it will all smooth over, and then in the morning it kicks you twice as hard.”

She smiled. “Then I’ll have to buy you another round. We’ll see how long you can hold off the kick.”

Jane laughed despite herself. “That’s too nice of you.”

“You seem like you need a little nice right now.”

“I do. Jane.” She offered her hand.

“Natalia, but everybody calls me Tash.”

“Why?” she frowned.

Tash shrugged. “They just do. Rum and coke, wasn’t it?”

Jane nodded. “Thanks.”

 

They had another drink and Jane started to feel lighter. Tash kept up a stream of questions – nothing about her wedding or her life, just things she liked, places she’d been. It was a good distraction and even with her total lack of guile Jane managed to get a few good answers out of the other woman. She was actually sort of having fun.

A man walked in and caught Tash’s eye. He nodded and headed for a side passage. Immediately Tash’s whole posture changed. She stiffened slightly and stood.

“Unfortunately I have some business to take care of but it’s been great talking. Maybe if you’re still here when I get back we can continue this.”

“Where are you going?” Jane tried not to sound disappointed and failed utterly.

“There’s a little game out back. I have to go hustle some rich, stupid men.”

“You’re teasing me.” Jane giggled.

“Not this time, babe.”

She wasn’t sure if she should believe Tash but the redhead’s face was more serious than before. Jane raised her brows.

“Really? You’re what, a card shark?”

“You could say that.”

“What do you play for?”

“Large stacks of cash.”

“Oh,” Jane blinked, “That’s pretty amazing.”

Tash winked. “You don’t know the half of it.”

Jane blushed and looked down. Her gaze fell on the engagement ring and her expression soured. She twisted it off her finger hurriedly and held it out.

“Here, take this then. Add it to your pot.”

“I can’t do that.” Tash shook her head.

“Please. I can’t bear to look at it anymore.”

Tash grimaced but took the ring. “Do you want to watch?”

Jane’s eyes lit up. “Could I?”

“Yeah, if you’re quiet and keep your head down.”

“I’m good at that.”

Tash smiled, holding out her hand. “Then come on.”

 

The back room was even dodgier than the main bar. There was a table with four chairs, three already taken by types Jane wouldn’t want to meet on a regular day. They were in suits but still obviously bruisers, their shoulders bulging against the material. She hesitated by the door but Tash pulled up a stool for her by the empty chair and sat, looking over her shoulder expectantly. Jane took a shaky breath and perched by her elbow.

“Who’s this?” one of the men scowled.

“This is Jane. She is having a very shitty day.” Tash said with a wry smile.

“Oh yeah?” another raised his brow.

They all looked at Jane. She cleared her throat.

“My fiancé convinced me to elope to Vegas because it was more romantic and then cheated on me an hour before we were supposed to get married with some casino slut.”

There was a general hiss of sympathy.

“Ouch.”

“Harsh.”

“You need another drink, honey?”

Tash smirked at her and tapped the table to get their attention. “I’m looking after her, boys. No need to fall all over yourselves.”

“Sorry Tash. You want me to smack him around a little?”

Jane’s eyes widened. “Uh no, I think I’m okay. I might hit him myself if I see him again but thank you for the offer.”

“Can we get on with the game?” Tash leaned forward.

“Don’t be so eager to get your ass kicked, woman.”

“I’m not, I’m impatient to start kicking yours.”

The man to Jane’s left opened a deck of cards, shuffling them expertly. “Same rules apply.”

Everyone started emptying their pockets onto the table. Jane’s brows shot up as the pot grew quickly, wads of cash stacked in front of the players. Tash gave her a wary look before laying the engagement ring on top of her pile.

“Shall we get started?” the dealer asked.

 

Jane had never been much of a gambler. Her poker face was non-existent and she was usually blind to the trickery of those around her – something that had certainly bitten her in the ass today. But even with her lack of skill or knowledge when it came to cards, she knew this was not a normal game. The play moved so fast she could barely keep track. Cards and money flew back and forth between the players as they trash-talked and joked. No matter how playful their remarks, their faces were always cold and focused. She realised no one was drinking, but a couple of the men smoked quietly.

Tash was something else though. So casual in her leather jacket, her hands juggled the cards like a machine as her eyes scanned the faces around the table. She never lost a bluff, she never forced a bet. Her winnings grew and grew almost effortlessly. Tash didn’t loosen up until they announced a break in play, the redhead stretching out her neck as she turned to Jane.

“What do you think?”

“You’re amazing! I’ve never seen anyone play like that.”

Tash shrugged. “The others have played a few bad hands, that’s all.”

The dealer got up and rummaged through a cupboard in the corner, coming back with a bottle of whiskey and opening it. He poured into Jane’s empty glass and she sat up.

“Oh no, I’m alright-”

“Hush. You are not alright. You may not be alright for days. We know the thing for heartbreak, trust me.”

His voice was stern but his smile was kind and she returned it shyly, taking the glass. Jane could feel Tash watching her as she drank.

“It’s good.” She wiped a stray drop off her lip.

The redhead locked eyes with her, shaking her head softly. “He must be a fool, darling.”

She didn’t know what to say to that so she ducked her head and a moment later they got back to the game. Jane found some comfort in her drink, its heat immediately filling her and making her a bit more relaxed. She started joking with the players, smiling every time Tash threw her an admiring look. The redhead was still concentrating on her cards but every now and then she’d glance up and run her eyes over Jane in a way that made her feel grander than she was. There was something about those eyes – they were like black smoke, curling up out of the dark.

 

They played for another hour and Jane got steadily tipsy, until by the final play she was swaying a bit in her seat. Tash was thumbing through her cards when she gave Jane a sidelong look and picked up the engagement ring. Truthfully the brunette was too drunk to really notice what it was, but she tossed it into the centre almost reluctantly.

“Call.”

“Michael?” one of the men looked over.

Michael picked up the ring and spun it in the light, examining the stones closely. “I’d say $10,000, maybe $15,000.”

“Rich boy, your ex?” the dealer asked.

Jane shrugged. “He’s a doctor.”

“It’s enough.” Michael put the ring down.

“Call.”

They turned their cards and the men groaned as Tash won yet again. She gathered her cash together, looking at the dealer.

“You got a case for me?”

“I’ll find something.” He bustled back to his cupboard.

He returned after a few minutes’ rummaging with a paper bag. Tash frowned and he scoffed.

“That’s what I got, honey. Take it or leave it.”

She stood and grabbed it from him, tucking her winnings inside quickly. Tash’s opponents looked a little grave as they pocketed their own smaller piles. The redhead picked up the ring and looked at Jane.

“You sure you don’t want this?”

“Keep it,” she took off the locket and held it out, “Take this too. I don’t want anything more from him.”

Tash tossed the jewellery on the table. “There you go boys, flip for it.”

She took Jane’s hands and led her back into the main bar, leaning over to whisper. “I didn’t want anything from him either.”

“Should we get another drink to celebrate your luck?” Jane pointed feebly at the bar.

“Sure – but not here. You got a place to stay tonight?”

“No.”

“Come with me then. I’ll sort you out.”

Jane looked at her carefully for a moment before nodding. “Okay.”

*****

They got a cab to a house about fifteen minutes from the main drag. It was a cute little place, very homely, and looking at it almost made Jane cry again.

“Shit,” Tash looked at her, “I didn’t mean to upset you-”

“No, it’s fine. Just...everything reminds me of him, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. Come inside.”

She unlocked the door and led Jane into a pretty lounge room with some comfy-looking couches. Jane stuck her lip out thoughtfully as she looked around and Tash grinned.

“Not what you expected?”

“I guess not.”

“It was my aunt’s. I haven’t done much to the place since I moved in. It just never seemed important.”

“Oh.”

“Sit down, I’ll get us a drink.”

She settled herself on the couch, smoothing out her dress. Its white lines reminded her of that moment in the hotel room where she almost couldn’t breathe and the feeling returned tenfold. Jane rubbed her hands over her face. She was so tired of being sad but the worst part was it hadn’t even been twelve hours. She had so much more of this shit to go through.

“Here.”

A glass tapped against her fingers and Jane sat back to take it. Tash kicked off her boots and sat next to her, legs crossed on the cushion.

“What is the single worst thing you’re feeling right now?”

“That I should have known. I should have seen it earlier, you know? That coming here so blindly makes me some kind of idiot and everyone else is laughing behind my back.”

“No one could blame you for this.”

“How do you know?” Jane smiled sadly, “We just met. Maybe I am an idiot.”

“I don’t think so. You said you’re an astrophysicist, yeah? Last time I checked you needed brains for that – more than brains. You must be a genius.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“Seriously. We started talking what, three hours ago? Four? And already I can tell you’re smart and beautiful and super nice. This guy has to be the biggest bonehead on Earth to miss out on all that.”

Jane laughed and Tash made a face.

“What’s so funny?”

“You think I’m beautiful?”

“Well yeah, obviously.”

“No one’s ever really said that before.”

Something flashed over Tash’s face, something that made Jane feel like all the air had been sucked out of the room. She set down her glass and reached over to take Jane’s, gently prying it out of her fingers.

“Well you are. Want me to show you?”

Jane looked at the scarlet curls brushing her face, the full pink lips, those eyes so black she wanted to fall into them just to see if they ever ended. Without her jacket Tash’s arms were lean and toned, a huge tattoo wrapping around one bicep like vines, their thorns sharp and jagged. Jane’s eyes roamed lower over the trim curves of her waist and hips, the soft skin of her chest. She nodded.

“Please.”

 

Tash slid her hand along Jane’s jaw and cupped her face, pulling her forward until their lips met. There was a second of hesitation before Jane melted into it, hands coming up to grip Tash’s waist uncertainly. The woman could _kiss_ , her mouth gentle and wet against Jane’s. She didn’t push for more as her hands moved lower, caressing Jane’s arms, her stomach, her back. It felt like she was lying on the tide line, waves washing over her soothingly. Jane felt some of the tension leaving her, replaced by a tingle of excitement. She shuffled closer on the couch, sliding her hand up into Tash’s hair. The redhead smiled against her lips but didn’t comment, keeping up her soft touches.

Eventually it was too much. Jane felt like her whole body was covered in goosebumps. She pressed her tongue against Tash’s lips and she opened readily, letting the brunette in. Their tongues moved together at a crawl, sinuous and wet. Jane had never kissed a girl before but she was wondering now why she’d waited so long. Tash’s hands stroked along Jane’s thighs and lower back. She tapped her bum and broke the kiss.

“Here, come closer.”

Jane hurriedly wiggled so she was straddling Tash, eager to get back to the kissing. The new position pressed them together, the curves of Tash’s chest squished firmly against Jane. It was different but it wasn’t bad, and the fingers tickling up her spine were even better. Their mouths met again, Jane’s arms around Tash’s neck as their pace picked up. Jane felt like a teenager making out on her parents’ couch, except she’d never actually done this when she was that age. Don had been her first real boyfriend, college sweethearts, and now she was sitting in a tattooed poker hustler’s lap in her wedding dress. The absurdity of it made her laugh and Tash’s eyes scan her face questioningly.

“Sorry, just – I didn’t expect this tonight.”

“We can stop if you want.”

“No, no. Don’t you dare.” She smiled, kissing Tash’s neck.

The redhead smirked and tilted her head back to give Jane better access. Her hands began to scrunch up the dress, raising the hem up to the top of her thighs. There’s a scar above Jane’s knee and Tash traced it carefully.

“I fell off my bike,” Jane grinned, “Eight stitches.”

“Bet you were brave about it.”

“I didn’t want Dad to get upset.”

Tash kissed her chest above her neckline, teeth nipping at the sensitive collar bones. Her fingers pushed further up Jane’s leg, dipping into the hollow crease where it met her hip. Jane shivered, blinking slowly as Tash watched her face for something. When Jane didn’t do anything but squeeze the back of her neck she smiled wide, hand trailing down. Her fingers dipped below the waist of Jane’s underwear, teasing the short curls of her mound. The need was building now. Jane wanted to be touched so badly she was rocking slightly against the other woman, hands grabbing at her hair in some silent plea for urgency. Tash finally took pity and brushed against Jane’s folds.

 

It was like an electric shock (and Jane had had enough of those to know). Her muscles rippled and jerked her against Tash, clinging to her shoulders desperately. A finger traced the slick line of her core and Jane gasped.

“Yeah?” Tash raised her brows.

“Yeah.” She nodded frantically.

The digit circled her clit and she moaned, forehead falling forward against Tash’s. Jane was barely aware of being nudged onto her knees so Tash could get to her entrance. A finger slipped inside her and her face screwed up, the delicate teasing thrusts not enough.

“Can you...um,” she blushed, “Faster?”

Tash winks. “Trust me.”

“Uh, okay.”

She added another finger but doesn’t speed up more than a fraction. It made a difference though, the added stretch. Jane’s walls were tight around her now and the slow strokes were like the caresses earlier, exciting all her nerves overwhelmingly. Tash licked the finger of her other hand and lowered it, pressing against the swollen nub with the same lazy movements. Jane felt like her whole body smouldered, a sweet drawn-out burn. She watched Tash’s face, mouth agape, noticing the almost reverent look in her wicked smirk. Jane leaned forward and kissed her, holding onto her face for dear life.

This was not like sex with Don. That had always been fun, affectionate even. Sometimes she felt like she couldn’t love him more than she did in that moment. But he’d never looked at her like he could see into her soul. He’d never acted like she was a goddess he’d happened to stumble upon, like he couldn’t believe his luck. Tash’s gaze made her blush but it aroused her too, soothing the pride Donald had wounded.

She patted Tash’s chest to urge her on, hips rolling into the touch now. Finally Tash sped up, moving with a dexterity that always honed in on her most sensitive spots. Jane’s breath came out as tiny mouse-like moans, like she was afraid too much noise would break the moment. Something else had joined the admiration in Tash’s eyes, something lusty and dark and frighteningly sexy. Tash’s thumb slid across her button hard and Jane was coming with a cry, her whole body stiff as she shook.

Tash slowly withdrew her fingers, kissing Jane’s shoulder as she waited for the woman to calm and settle back in her lap. Jane rested her head in the crook of Tash’s neck, enjoying the vanilla scent of her as she caught her breath.

“That was – wow.”

“Thanks.” Tash chuckled.

“Do you want me to...”

“I’m fine. I think you should probably wait before you decide if you want to do that with anyone.”

“Right. Sensible.”

Tash brushed the hair back off her face. “You wanna get some sleep?”

“Sounds good.”

“Are you still thinking you’ll leave tomorrow?”

Jane made a face. “Our reservation was only for one night but I don’t know. I don’t think I can face it yet. At home everyone will have questions and they’ll be shocked and bitching about him and-”

“I get it. Well I can help you find another hotel or...or you could stay here for a few days.”

Jane’s brows shot up. “Really?”

“Yeah. No funny business, promise. I wouldn’t mind the company and I’m sure you’d prefer someone around too.”

She nodded, too stunned to express her gratitude properly. “Thanks Tash.”

“You take my bed and I’ll sleep down here.”

She didn’t argue, following Tash upstairs to her room. It was neat, a bit more of the girl’s personality in the ornaments and art. She hugged herself as she looked around.

“Well I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“Thanks again.”

Tash smiled. “Don’t worry about it.”

It was only when she’d gone it hit Jane how very alone she was. She crawled under the covers, curling up into a ball as her tears poured again and she cried herself to sleep.

*****

She didn’t come down until ten. She might have stayed in bed all day if she’d been alone but with Tash moving around quietly downstairs Jane felt she should make an effort. She rubbed the back of her head as she walked into the kitchen. Tash looked up with a smile. She was in a white t-shirt and black denim Capris, a leather cuff on one wrist as she dried the dishes.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Tash didn’t ask how Jane slept. From the red rings around her eyes she didn’t have to. She just took a plate from the bench and set it on the table.

“Here. I wasn’t sure what you like but I figured eggs and toast was a safe bet.”

“Thanks. I’m not super hungry.”

Tash gives her a stern look. “You have to eat.”

“Okay.”

She sat and tried to busy herself with the breakfast, finding it wasn’t as bad as she expected. Tash leaned back against the counter.

“So you need to go back to the hotel for your things?”

Jane grimaced. “Yeah, guess I should.”

“I can go with if you like.”

“Would you?” she frowns.

“Sure. You might have noticed my job’s more of a night thing. I’ve got nothing else to do.”

“Um, okay. I guess we should do that then before they try to charge an extra day.”

Tash’s eyes are dark, inscrutable as she answers. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Jane finished her breakfast and tidied herself up as best she could but it still looked like she’d slept in her clothes (which was true, of course). Tash was waiting by the door, swinging her keyring around her finger.

“Alright?”

“Yep.”

Tash’s car was more what she expected from the woman’s style, an old black coupe that shone from being well-looked after. They didn’t talk much on the drive. They parked and Tash gave her a look with just a twist of uncertainty to her mouth.

“Do you want me to come in or wait here?”

“I think it’s better if you wait. If, uh, if Don’s up there I’d rather talk to him myself.”

“Well remember I’m down here if you need me.”

“Thanks.” She blushed, climbing out.

Jane decided it was safest to check at the front desk first. She leaned over the counter, trying for a polite smile.

“Hi, I was wondering if you could check whether Dr Donald Blake has checked out yet?”

“Do you know the room number?”

“1205.”

The receptionist taps at his keyboard for a moment before smiling. “He’s still here. Would you like me to call the room?”

“Uh, no. Have you seen him recently?”

“I have not, miss.”

“Thanks.”

Steeling herself Jane walked to the elevators. It would be fine. She would just duck in, grab her bag and leave again. If Don tried to talk to her, she’d tell him to give her some space. She could manage that.

 

The doors opened and Jane stepped out cautiously, as if she expected him to ambush her in the hall. There was no one around though as she walked to their room and swiped the key card. There was no one inside either; it looked like someone had trashed the minibar but her clothes and things were untouched where she’d left them. Moving quickly and quietly just in case Donald was passed out in the bathroom or something she stuffed everything into her suitcase and bolted, leaving the key card at the desk on her way out.

Tash looked up as she opened the back door. “Everything go okay?”

“He wasn’t there.” Jane huffed, putting her bag in before getting into the front seat.

“Ah. Is that a good thing?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to see him, but the possibility he’s off living it up with that skank – or a new one – it’s horrible.”

She sniffed and Tash laid a hand on her shoulder like she wasn’t used to comforting people.

“I thought he was a nice guy, you know? We were going to get married. I used to feel like he could never hurt me, like he was safety and home and a future, and now he’s just some guy who couldn’t keep it in his pants.”

“At least you found out before you got married.”

“I guess. Tash, what if that wasn’t the first time? What if he was cheating on me from the start?”

The redhead pursed her lips. “I don’t think he would have asked you to marry him if that was the case.”

“Maybe. Don just...did things. You know? Just so he could say he’d done them.”

Tash’s voice was very quiet and formal as she looked down at her hands. “So it’s over between you?”

“I can’t go back after this. I still love him, of course I do. It’s been a day. But there’s no excuse for what he did. I could never trust someone who tried to keep things from me.”

Tash looked even more uncomfortable, turning the engine on. “Let’s get you back to mine. You can clean up, change into some different clothes. I promise it will make you feel a lot better.”

“Sounds good.”

“And then if you want we can sit on my couch with some Ben & Jerry’s and watch stupid movies.”

Jane laughed. “You watch stupid movies?”

“Sometimes,” Tash smiled, “Every girl has her guilty pleasures.”

“You more than most though, huh?” Jane teased.

Tash chuckled, low and throaty and very, very hot. “I never feel guilty about that.”

*****

She showered at Tash’s and they split a pint of ice cream while watching lame ‘90s comedies – and it’s good. It’s easy to laugh, to forget, especially with Tash next to her snickering and running her hand through that short red hair. At six she glanced at the window. It was only just getting dark but she stood.

“I need to get ready.”

“You’re going out?” Jane frowned.

“Gotta work. There’s a game on.”

“Oh. I guess I’ll hole up here with the movies then.”

Tash’s mouth twitched. “Did you want to come?”

“I wouldn’t want to interrupt.”

“A couple of the guys from last night will be there, and some new ones.”

“You’re sure they won’t mind?”

“Nah, they thought you were great.”

Jane smiled. “Alright. I’ll change.”

 

And for a week that’s all they do, muck around during the daytime with silly, light-hearted stuff, and at night sit in dark smoky rooms while Tash fleeces her opponents and Jane gets tipsy in the corner. It’s so different to her old life and so straightforward. Jane never has to wonder what she should be doing because Tash always tells her to go with her gut. She never has to figure out what Tash means because she just says it. They don’t talk about Don and they don’t talk about her going home but Jane feels like they talk about absolutely everything else.

They came home from the bar one night with Tash’s winnings safely in Jane’s hands and the redhead unlocked the door, kicking it open as she slung her jacket over a chair.

“You feel like another drink?”

“Sure.”

She went to the kitchen for a bottle and Jane put the cash on the coffee table. She hasn’t asked what Tash does with it but she doubted it was stored away in the house somewhere. Maybe she made bank runs when Jane was still asleep.

Tash returned with a glass in each hand, stepping over the back of the couch and handing Jane hers as she sunk into a tailor’s seat.

“You did really well tonight.”

“I almost punched that guy on my left in the face though. God, he was arrogant!”

“But you got his watch instead. Isn’t that better?”

Tash laughed. “I guess.”

She took a sip and Jane’s hand slowed, glass hovering somewhere near her mouth. Tash raised her brows in concern.

“You okay?”

“Yeah! Yeah, you just looked...you were glowing.”

Tash’s forehead furrowed even more and Jane turned away, putting her drink on the coffee table.

“I’m sorry, that was stupid. Ignore me.”

“Jane? It’s okay. If you think that, I mean.”

The brunette looked up and caught the smoulder in Tash’s eyes. Her hands trembled a little but she gently placed her palm on Tash’s neck and drew her in. Jane kissed her hesitantly, somehow more frightened now than she had been the first night. Maybe it was because she knew Tash now. Maybe it meant more.

 

The redhead groaned and leaned into the kiss, encouraging her with a hand in her hair. Jane let her hands roam, memorising the curves and soft places of her waist and hips. She pushed Tash back against the couch gently, the redhead rearranging her legs until Jane was lying on top of her. Her hands strayed down to Tash’s crotch, playing lightly over the seam of her pants.

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

She unbuttoned them, Tash lifting her hips so she could tug them off. Jane pressed her knee between Tash’s thighs, shifting slowly as their mouths met again. She grabbed handfuls of red curls, tongue sweeping across the other woman’s as Tash rocked against her. Jane could feel the dampness of her centre, the heat of it more than she expected. Her hand drifted lower and she dragged the underwear off too. Tash spread her legs almost apprehensively, looking worriedly up at Jane. She had to admit she was thrown for a moment, but more from a scientific curiosity standpoint. Jane had seen her own of course, but this was her first close up with foreign female parts and she just looked for a few minutes. Eventually Nat started to twitch impatiently.

“Is this still okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Then can we move along? Because you look so fucking sexy right now.”

Jane grinned shyly. “I’m not used to hearing that sort of thing.”

“Well it’s true. Come on, Jane. Don’t hide from me now.”

She leaned back against Tash and let her fingers wander through the short brown curls between her thighs. She ventured lower and Tash hissed, back arching at the slender fingers running along her button.

“Good?”

“Yeah, yeah that’s good. There.”

Jane smiled. She could do this. She built her own equipment and she mapped out space with numbers – she could figure out the mysteries of Tash’s body.

 

She pushed Tash’s shirt up with her free hand, forcing it over her ribs until she could get to her chest. Jane pressed a kiss to each nipple through the cotton of her bra as her fingers flicked over swollen flesh. Tash made a half-moan and Jane delved slightly further, tracing down until she felt the give of her slick entrance. Her finger slipped forward and she watched the other woman’s face as she pushed into her. Tash’s eyes clenched shut as her fingers dug into Jane’s arms, hips tilting towards her.

“Don’t stop.” She gasped out.

Jane kissed her collarbone as she crooked a finger experimentally, thrusting slowly. Tash spread her legs wider, inviting her in. Jane thought she had the idea of it now and sped up a little, moving easily in the wet passage. She kissed her way down Tash’s torso, loving the way her chest fluttered under Jane’s touches. She rocked back onto her heels and lowered her head, pushing her hair out of the way behind her ears. Jane licked her lips before sliding her tongue over Tash’s clit.

“Wha-oooooooh.” She groaned.

It wasn’t exactly what she’d been expecting but that was only because it was new. As Jane figured out the best way to lick without straining herself, and how to keep her finger moving at the same time (difficult when you have the coordination of a toddler) it was easier. Tash’s hands in her hair were encouraging too, the woman struggling not to thrust her hips up into Jane’s nose. She didn’t delude herself that this was that spectacular for Tash but she was grateful for the chance to try anyway and she poured that enthusiasm into her actions.

Jane liked the heavy musk smell of her; she liked the feeling of Tash’s moist hot walls gripping her. She liked the breathy gasps and the rolling hips and the soft mounds of her breasts, and she liked the soft thighs against her ears. Her only thought was wondering why she’d waited a whole week to do this, and then Tash was coming with a shout and clamping down on her hard.

Jane waited for her to relax and pulled herself upright, wiping her face on her hand before grinning.

“Uh, so, how was that?”

“That,” Tash panted, “Was fantastic.”

She waved at Jane until the woman leaned forward, Tash’s legs wrapping around her again as she lay on the redhead’s chest.

“You really thought so? I mean, you don’t have to spare my feelings-”

“Jane? Shut up. Save your energy because as soon as I get my breath back, you are going to need it.”

“Oh. Okay.”

*****

Now their daily routine stretched to fun, poker and random attacks of passionate sex in inappropriate places. Tash would jump her in the kitchen at breakfast or sneak into her shower, or Jane would toss the popcorn aside and flatten her into the couch. Jane started to feel more relaxed than she could remember being in a long time. She joked, she told stories, she even cooked a few times. Part of her was aware that this couldn’t last forever, the part freaking out that for the first time she had no plan and no hurry to get one. The rest of her was too happy to give it much thought.

 

They were sharing Tash’s bed now, staying up late talking with their legs and hands entwined or staying up even later for other entanglements. It was one of those times, Jane straddling Tash as the other woman pushed into her. She was so close, eyes fixed on that burning stare. Jane didn’t want to close her eyes as she felt her climax coming but she couldn’t stop it.

“Taaaaaash!”

She gasped for a moment before falling against Tash’s chest and snuggling in closer, hand on her stomach.

“That was amazing.”

“Yeah.” Tash breathed out, massaging Jane’s head fondly.

“What are we doing tomorrow? I know you probably have a game but I thought we could get lunch out somewhere.”

She pressed her lips together grimly and shifted slightly. “Jane, we need to talk about something.”

“Okay.”

“You can’t hide here forever.”

“I’m not hiding.”

Tash looked down at her sceptically and Jane shrugged.

“I mean, I want to be here. I like this.”

“I like it too but it can’t go anywhere. I’m not exactly girlfriend material Jane, and you just ended a serious relationship.”

“I...I’m not...I didn’t think we were dating. I mean I’m not even sure what’s going on there with my preferences, and I know Don’s probably making my emotions all crazy right now, I just...I feel happy, you know? I didn’t realise we had to be going anywhere with it.”

“I’m just thinking about your future. There’s no life for you here in Vegas, Jane. Your friends, your family, they’re far away and I- I’m trouble. You know how I make my living. There are huge risks involved. Those guys can get pretty dangerous.”

Jane looked down. “I get it. If you don’t want me to stay-”

“I didn’t say that. I’d like you to, but I don’t think you should. It’s not in your best interests.”

“Right. Uh, well I guess I’ll head off in the morning then.”

“Yeah, that would be better.”

She rolled onto her side, arm under the pillow. Tash shoved down a moment of guilt before rolling to the other half of the bed. She was doing the right thing.

*****

Her best friend was waiting at the front door when Jane stepped out of the cab, resettling the bag over her shoulder.

“Oh Janey!” she ran forward and wrapped the brunette in her arms.

The hug was too much. Jane buried her head in Marcia’s shoulder and cried, letting her stuff fall as she clung to the other woman like a life preserver.

“Hey, it’s okay Janey. It’s okay, you’re better off without him.”

“Him?” Jane blinks, momentarily thrown.

“Don’s pretty much _persona non grata_ around here now.” Marcia tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Oh right. That’s sweet of you guys.”

She sniffed again as Marcia patted her back, struck with the funny realisation she was crying over the wrong person.

 

Jane needed time to think but apparently that’s impossible. She was convinced everyone in her life was part of some grand conspiracy to keep her constantly busy. They clearly thought they were helping, but the endless round of going out and day spa trips and shopping expeditions only made her feel like her head was cluttering up with junk and she couldn’t see what was underneath anymore.

She finally begged Marcia to stop when the blonde showed up on her front stoop with a six pack and a bunch of DVDs.

“Marce I really appreciate it, but I just need a break okay?”

“Sure. Sure, whatever you want babe! Give me a call if you want some company.”

“I will, don’t worry. How about we go out Friday night instead?”

“Okay. Here, I might as well leave these with you.” She handed over her gifts.

“Thanks.”

Jane shut the door and put everything on the coffee table, flopping back onto the couch. The house was so quiet for once. It almost hurt how she could hear the cicadas outside instead of Don watching Sportscenter or Tash humming in the kitchen. It hurt a lot more that she even missed that about Tash at all. What was going on with her? She grabbed her phone off the table.

“Hey Marce? Sorry, can you come back? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

“No probs, babe. Two minutes.”

When she got back to the house Jane was sitting on the couch nervously. The blonde raised a brow.

“Everything okay?”

“Marce, is it okay if we go to a gay bar on Friday?”

“Sure. They play the best music, and there won’t be any yucky guys hitting on you.”

“That’s not why I want to go.”

Marcia raised her brows and sat. “Okay. There was more to Vegas, wasn’t there?”

“A bit more.”

“Spill.”

 

Marcia took Jane’s self-exploratory _I think I might like women_ in her stride and was not only okay with the gay bar but insisted on it.

“You’ve got to test yourself, Janey,” she nodded sagely, “You don’t want to miss out on something awesome.”

So Friday night saw them at Pink Triangle, the only place in the entire area. Jane was immediately blown away by the people dancing so close together, the women touching, their eyes lingering over her at the bar. Marcia elbowed her with a grin.

“Looks like you’ve got a few admirers.”

“Yeah.”

“Anyone you like?”

Jane wrinkled her nose and looked around. There were a few people with their glances turned her way, but none of them really drew her until she spotted a girl by the stage with long black hair and dark, dark eyes that looked even blacker with the big smoky makeup around them. She was dancing by herself in a tight black singlet that left her midriff bare, her jeans a faded grey.

“Her.” Jane pointed discreetly.

“Oh wow. I wouldn’t have imagined that was your type. I mean, not after Mr Perfect.”

“And look how he turned out.” Jane grimaced.

“Well go on. Do you wanna talk to her?”

“Maybe we could go dance and, um, I’ll see?”

Marcia hustled her towards the floor, getting them near the stage with a minimum of fuss. Jane felt sort of shy for a moment but dancing with Marcia was nothing new and she fell into it after a moment of self-consciousness. Her body distracted, her eyes were free to roam over the dark girl. She twisted to the music in ways that made Jane’s heart hammer. Her hands felt stupidly clammy as she imagined kissing those full, pouting lips.

She gave Marcia a nod to warn her before breaking away, coming up to the other woman.

“Hey.”

“Well hey there.” She quirked a brow.

“I’m Jane.”

“Lola.”

“Wow, that’s unusual.”

“Not for me.”

Jane laughed a bit hysterically, cursing herself for being so frazzled. “I guess not. Mind if I join you?”

“Go right ahead.”

 

When Lola eventually slid her arms around Jane’s neck and kissed her, it was great. Her lips were exactly as soft as Jane had pictured, and the part of her head that wasn’t focused on kissing back decided that yep, she was definitely a lesbian. Kissing Don hadn’t been anything like this and they’d been in love. Lola was just some chick at a bar and Jane could barely keep herself from moaning into the woman’s mouth.

Lola’s hands ran up and down her sides and Jane leaned into the touch, letting herself be pressed against the girl’s curves. But there was still something missing in her embrace, that feeling of being safe she’d had with Tash. Jane broke away.

“Look, I sort of abandoned my friend...”

“Sure, sure. We could all go to the bar?” Lola suggested.

“I’ll grab her.”

She threaded her way back to Marcia and grabbed her sleeve.

“Hey! I saw you – way to work it, missy.”

“Come to the bar with us.”

“Um, I am not looking to play third wheel hon. I can just bail now if you two wanna be alone.”

“I kinda don’t.”

“Why not? Is she a bad kisser?”

“No, great actually. Totally confirmed it, in fact.”

“Is it too soon after Don?”

“Maybe...I just need you to come to the bar with us.”

She shrugged. “Okay. I’ll protect your virtue if that’s what you really want.”

 

Jane went home alone and climbed into bed, the noise of the club still shivering in her bones. She clutched at her covers and stared at the blank, boring ceiling in her empty, boring house. The funny thing was she knew exactly what was missing.

*****

Marcia tried to convince her to go out a few more times but Jane shook it off. She wasn’t interested in anyone but Tash. It was a ridiculous longing though – Tash was in Vegas and Jane was here and they barely even knew each other. They didn’t even have a story, so how could there be a happy ending?

She walked into the diner and slumped into the chair opposite Marcia with a sigh. The blonde took another sip of her coffee with a questioning look.

“One day you’re gonna have to tell me what’s got you in such a gloomy mood, babe.”

Jane bit her lip. She was fucking tired of keeping it to herself.

“There was someone in Vegas.”

“Well duh. You came back all gay. That knowledge didn’t just magically fall into your head. Who was she?”

“A woman I met at a bar after I caught Donald. She plays poker and has a classic car and really really red hair and tattoos and she’s nothing, nothing like Don.”

“Damn! Badass huh? And you guys hooked up?”

“Some. Mostly we just talked.”

“And now you’re stuck here mooning all by yourself.”

“I don’t know how to make myself stop thinking about her!” Jane slammed her head back against the vinyl seat.

Marcia leaned over the table. “Hon, are you absolutely sure this isn’t just a rebound thing?”

“It’s not.”

“And it’s not a first girl/lesbian idol thing?”

“I don’t think so. I mean I haven’t wanted anybody else and there were pretty girls at that club who were interested.”

Marcia made a thoughtful sound and took another sip. “Then you know what you have to do, honey. Get on with it.”

“Marce, I can’t just pick up and go to Vegas! What would I say? I mean, we’re practically strangers!”

“Well your alternative is staying here and being miserable until you forget her, and she kinda sounds like a person you should have in your life.”

Jane had nothing to say to that.

 

Tash was flipping pancakes when the bell rang. She turned off the heat and wiped her hands on a tea towel quickly before jogging to the door.

“Coming!”

She threw back the locks and opened it, breath catching in her throat at the sight of the brunette waiting outside.

“Jane. What are you doing here?”

She looked good in a brown jacket and blue shirt over jeans, and Tash was suddenly very aware she was in a t-shirt and tiny sleeping shorts. It was an effort not to cover herself with her hands.

“I need you.”

“What?”

“I had to come and say that, even if you don’t want to hear it, or, or, you don’t care, or it’s really stupid but I do. I need you.”

Tash frowned. “Come inside.”

She moved to let Jane past before shutting the door again. The scientist stood in the lounge room like she wasn’t sure what to do with herself.

“I can’t stop thinking about you. I think you’re amazing and beautiful and smart and so, so sweet, and I didn’t want to just keep going until one day I forget what your smile looks like or how your hair smells.”

“Jane, we only spent a couple of weeks together.”

“And I can’t fall totally in love with a person in that time, I know, that would be crazy.” Jane said, out of breath, “But I just drove all the way here because if I didn’t at least see your face I was gonna explode.”

Tash looked down. “Jane, I like you, I really do. But I’m not good for you. My life is...it’s messy and it’s dangerous sometimes, and you deserve better than that.”

“I want you. I need _you_. Exactly as you are.”

“How would it even work? We live in separate cities, and I doubt Vegas is gonna work out with your astrophysics given that the strip is so bright you can’t even see the stars.”

“It’s surrounded by some of the clearest desert in the country. I’ll be fine. I just want to be with you.”

Quiet Jane, mousey Jane, sounded so determined Tash felt the fight leave her in one blow.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Jane raised her brows worriedly.

Tash crossed the space between them in two steps and grabbed her by the waist, kissing the little brunette with everything she had. Jane melted into her embrace, lips moving eagerly as Tash’s warmth spread down her spine. The redhead broke away and rested her forehead against Jane’s.

“I think I kinda need you too.”

Jane grinned. “Good to hear. I already found an apartment.”

Tash laughed. “Where did all this sudden bravado come from, hmm?”

“I guess I just knew what I wanted this time.”

Tash kissed her again. “Say it again.”

“I need you, Tash. Insanely bad.”

She shrieked as the other woman lifted her into her arms. Tash grinned, heading for the stairs.

 “Then you get me, Jane Foster. Also insanely bad.”

She smiled and nuzzled at Tash’s neck. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 


End file.
